Starting Over at the End
by MistyWolfe
Summary: Another What happens to Rose and 10.5 after the TARDIS drops them off fic. Continued from my first one Tying Up Loose Ends. Let me know if I should continue or not. I'll probably add more chapters and maybe even raise rating to M if enough ppl like this.
1. Chapter 1

Rose Tyler stood in silence staring at an empty stretch of sand. There was nothing there but a footprint now. Just a square silhouette, left behind when her home disappeared. He'd left her. This time it wasn't a force of nature or a hole in the universe that ripped them apart. There was no black hole. He didn't send her away to keep her safe. He just left. He had a choice, and he chose to leave her standing there, without him.

Then someone approached from behind her, and she felt a warm hand reach down to clasp hers, reminding her that she was not alone. She looked down at the hand holding hers so tightly, and then slowly up until she reached his face. _His_ face, so familiar and yet so foreign. And when their eyes met, she realized he was just as lost as she was. Two displaced souls in the wind and sand. What was she supposed to do? How could she help to fix this broken man when she was so broken herself?

"Are you alright?" He asked softly.

Was she? She wasn't sure of anything anymore. She had fought so long and hard to get back to him. She just didn't know what to think. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. "I- I think so... I'm sorry. I just- I don't know-" And then she broke. All the strength left her body. She slumped onto her knees and wept. Incoherent words and phrases were ripped from her throat as she dug her nails into the sand. She asked the Universe how this could happen again. She begged him to come back for her, though she knew it was impossible. She screamed her rage at him for leaving her. She released all the pain of the last four years, spent without him by her side. Four years of trying to be strong and brave and hiding how afraid she actually was.

All the Doctor could do was wrap himself around her and whisper, "Shh... It's alright. I'm so sorry, Rose. Oh Rose. I'm so sorry." Inwardly he cursed his other self for hurting her so much. He cursed the fully Time Lord Doctor for leaving him here to clean up the mess. Then he cursed himself because he knew he would have done the same. He rocked the woman he loved and silently grieved with her.

Jackie approached and began to reach for Rose, but the Doctor gave her a pleading look asking for her to let him handle this. She backed away (against her better judgment he could tell) and he was grateful.

They stayed like that for minutes that felt like hours, the Doctor cradling his Rose with his own silent tears falling into her hair, and Jackie standing several feet away, feeling helpless.

Finally, Rose looked up pleadingly into his eyes as she tried to compose herself. She sniffed and choked out one word, "Why?" She was imploring and almost begging for him to give her an answer she could understand. She needed a reason and it broke his heart because there was no simple explanation.

He said the only thing that he could think of, "Because he had to." It sounded so lame after he said it that he almost wished he could take it back, but to his surprise and utter relief, she began to calm and her tears began to subside.

He could almost see the acceptance in her demeanor as she sat back on her heels and began wiping at her blotched face. He watched as her protective walls came back up in her mind, and though she was obviously still very upset, she was doing her best to hide behind a disposition of strength. _Wow_, he thought to himself bitterly, _I've taught her well_. His own words, "_I'm always alright." _were echoing in his head,

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Now she was apologizing to him? "No Rose, none of this is your fault. We've been heading for this for a long time... probably since we first met-"

"No, I mean for freaking out like this... I'm sorry. I- I'm just really confused..."

"Oh, Rose." He ran his hand over the back of her head, smoothing her hair. "Don't ever apologize for feeling anything."

Rose searched his eyes for several moments before whispering "Thank you."

He gave her a brief smile and brought her hand he was still holding up to his cheek. It was then, as they gazed at each other, even through the pain and the doubt and confusion, she saw her Doctor. He was still there behind this man's eyes and though she was still more uncertain than she had been in her life, she knew one thing; they would always be okay in the end. They would somehow work this out and find happiness. She just didn't know how. They shared one last look, and he helped her to her feet, brushing the sand off and wondering where to go from here.

Jackie had apparently decided that she had given them their moment and now it was her turn. She walked up to Rose and squeezed her into a bone-crushing hug. Then she pulled back and looked into her daughter's sad eyes, "You're alright then, sweetheart?" Rose nodded, so her mother kissed her on the forehead and embraced her again for a long moment. When Jackie had satisfied herself that her daughter was well and truly fine, she slowly pulled away, and reached for her phone."Right then, I'm going to go up the beach and try to find a signal." She shot the Doctor a slightly dirty look and mumbled "Bloody Norway again..." as she gave Rose's shoulder a squeeze and made her way up the beach.

Rose and the Doctor both hated how awkward this felt. They were alone and had no idea what to say to each other. In the years they had known each other, they had never felt awkward before.

"I guess-"

"Should we-"

They laughed slightly and the Doctor said "You go ahead." Indicating that she speak first.

"I was just going to suggest we go over to those rocks and sit for a minute... My head's still sorta spinnin'"

"Okay." He lead the way over to the rocks and they sat down on the flattest one they could find. The Doctor stared out at the sea while Rose stared at him thinking.

When he turned to look at her she asked, much as she had done when her other Doctor had almost regenerated, "You're still you?"

He cleared his throat and nodded, "Yes Rose, I'm still me. I know it's hard to understand. Everything about me is still the Doctor. Anything I've- Well anything HE'S ever done, or said or thought... that was me, right up to the point I was created..." He trailed off slightly and turned more to face her. "There are subtle differences of course, some of which I haven't discovered yet, but-"

"So, a bit like a regeneration then?" She asked trying to make sense of things in her head.

His megawatt smile slowly spread across his face. "Yes, Rose. Exactly like a regeneration." He had missed her so much. "Only this time my face didn't change, and I have one heart..."

"Yeah." Rose looked down quickly trying not to show her disappointment at his last statement. She knew that in the scheme of things, having one heart was a minor change. It actually meant that they could be together forever this time, but the memories of when she used to hug her Doctor, and feel the steady thump-thump thump-thump behind his ribs were so precious. She would miss him, and he was here, and she was so so confused.

The Doctor noticed the shift in her emotions and gently reached for her chin to bring her eyes back up to his. "When I regenerated into this body, you weren't sure that I was still me. And I reminded you by telling you the story of how we first met. Down in the cellar of Hendricks, I took your hand." He took her left hand in his right. "And I said one word. Just one word. 'Run'" She gave him a small smile and a single tear ran down her cheek. "I'm so glad I met you, Rose. And I can tell you now, even though I couldn't before, how much I need you. I've always needed you, since the day I met you. I love you, and it feels so good to be able to say it." He let out a small nervous laugh as his free hand found the back of his neck, and Rose leaned forward to pull him into a hug. A real Rose-and-the-Doctor hug. Another reassurance that though it would take time and effort, they'd be okay.

Jackie approached the two of them and smiled, "Well I see you two are getting on, then." They pulled apart and looked at her, both with small smiles on their faces. "I've called a taxi and they're going to pick us up about a half mile down the road, so we'd better start walking." She put her phone back into her pocket and motioned for them to follow her. "We'll go to Bergen and stay in a hotel tonight. Our flight back home leaves at 11:45 tomorrow."

The Doctor was rather impressed with how well she handled everything. He and Rose stood and he grabbed her hand once again. Both Rose and the Doctor gave one last glance to the spot where the TARDIS had stood thirty minutes before. Then they turned to follow Jackie who had already started towards the road. As they started walking, he leaned down to whisper in Rose's ear "Allons-y" and she smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

Not much was said on the walk to the gas station where they were meeting their taxi. The trio was mostly lost in their own thoughts as they marched along, and Rose had a pounding headache from all the crying she had done earlier. She glanced over at the Doctor in time to see him look away very quickly. She wondered what he was thinking. Not so long ago, in another lifetime, it seemed they always knew what the other was thinking. Now she wasn't sure if the disunion between them was because he wasn't her fully Time Lord Doctor anymore, or if it was because they had been apart for so long.

So many questions and concerns were still swirling her mind. Could she be happy with this Doctor, and not let her feelings for his counterpart interfere? She wanted to be happy and wanted to make him happy. Why did she feel guilty? She almost felt like it would be cheating if she allowed herself to love this Doctor, but that was ridiculous, as they were the same man. Honestly she was too exhausted to think about it much more this evening. She wanted a shower and a bed.

The Doctor turned away from watching Rose, hoping she hadn't seen him staring. She looked so exhausted, and rightly so. It had been a hard day for everyone involved, and now the sun was beginning to set. He thought back to the countless sunsets they had witnessed together, holding hands and saying so much without saying a single word. Could they have a love like that again? He hoped so. Granted, now every time they watched a sunset it would be the this sun, from this planet.

He hoped that one day she could love the man he is now, as much as she loved the man he was before. There would be no traveling through Time and Space anymore. Things were going to be very different. Not being able to feel the intricate turns of the Universe was rather terrifying, and he didn't want to think about how lost he'd be without her beside him. In this world, he didn't have anything except Rose. He glanced over at her where she walked alongside him. _Oh, my Rose. Please don't ever leave me._ Almost as soon as he had the thought, she reached down to take his hand again. He smiled. Maybe they were still more connected than he thought.

They reached the gas station and went into the little convenience store to use the bathroom and get some snacks. Rose bought some Tylenol for her head-ache and they all headed back outside to wait for their cab. It helped a lot that the Doctor could speak Norwegian.

Jackie was on the phone with Tony, Rose's little brother. "Alright, Tony... Yes... No Rose is with me... We'll be back tomorrow... The Doctor's coming too... Yes, Alright Sweetheart... I love you. Be good for Daddy... "

Rose grinned at the Doctor when she saw the curious look on his face. "You're a bit of a legend. I've told him lots of stories and I think he sees you as like, a superhero or somethin'" She laughed. "He's a handful. Just wait 'til you meet him."

The Doctor smiled, "Oh, Can't wait."

A few minutes later, the cab pulled up and they all climbed in. The Doctor told the driver that they had reservations at the Radison Blu Hotel in Bergen and they were off. Not surprisingly, almost as soon as they had gotten seated in the cab, Rose was falling asleep with her head leaning against the window. The Doctor removed his jacket and rolled it up, placing it gently under her head. She woke only slightly mumbling a small, "Thanks."

Jackie watched him for a few moments then said quietly, "She's missed you, ya know. Been kinda bonkers these last few years."

"Yeah, me too." He whispered brushing a stray strand of hair off Rose's cheek.

"You're gonna stick around this time, then? You really love her?" She didn't want to see her daughter hurt anymore than she already had.

"Of course I do, Jackie. If I could have gotten back to her sooner I would have-"

"Oh, I knew you two loved each other back when you were all big ears and leather. And then when you started looking like this, it was even more obvious. Now that your not all alien... Just don't you go leaving 'er any more." There was a warning in her voice. "Once she gets used to you bein' around again... I'll not watch her go through that. She's been through enough."

"Jackie, now that I'm like this... I'll never _have_ to leave her again."

She studied him for a moment, and couldn't help but trust the sincerity in his eyes. She had known the answer to her question before she asked, but had needed to hear him say it. "Okay then. Wake me when we get there." Satisfied, she closed her eyes and settled back to get comfortable. The Doctor settled his hand on top of Rose's and closed his eyes as well, feeling content for the moment just to relax.

They arrived at the hotel and made their way to the desk. With the Doctor translating, they got three room keys, and caught the elevator to the second floor. After they had all taken showers, even though they had to put their not-so-clean clothes back on, they felt much better. They decided to all congregate in Jackie's room and order room service. After a light dinner, Jackie bid the other two goodnight with kisses and hugs and ushered them out of her room.

Rose followed the Doctor into his room, both of them once again feeling very awkward. "Do you want a cup of tea?" The Doctor asked politely, walking over to the small kitchenette in the room. He didn't want to rush things with Rose, but at the same time he really didn't want to let her out of his sight. A small part of him was still afraid she just might disappear if he wasn't with her.

"No thanks." She laughed, and shyly pushed her hair behind her ears. "I'm pretty tired so..." She looked over at the bed and then glanced back at the Doctor. He was staring at her with the tea kettle in his hand looking very unsure of himself.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, yeah?" She asked softly and walked over to give him a hug.

He put the tea kettle back on the counter and hugged her tightly whispering "Yeah." She pulled away and started slowly for the door. "Goodnight, Rose."

"Goodnight, Doctor." Rose backed out of his room and headed for her own with her head still full of unanswered questions and worries. She shucked out of her pants and crawled into bed, but her thoughts kept drifting to the next room. She lay there for at least thirty minutes, tossing and turning, thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

The Doctor sighed and ran his hands through his hair. After pacing around the room for a couple of minutes, he looked down at the big empty bed. He was going to have to get used to being tired more often now. There was a time when his hour long nap in the car would have done him just fine for a couple of days. A lot had changed. He really hoped Rose could accept him like this.

He sighed and undressed to his underwear, crawling between the sheets. Oh, how he longed for his TARDIS. This room was too quiet. He rolled over several times and tried to get comfortable, but sleep didn't come. He was used to having millions of thoughts running through his head all at once, so what was keeping him awake? Was it the quiet? The stillness? Something was missing. He was just contemplating turning on the TV when there was a soft knock at his door. "Doctor...?"

He crawled out of bed and threw his shirt back on as he opened the door. "Are you okay?" He asked when he saw Rose standing there looking sleepy and a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, I'm fine I just... Couldn't sleep..." She trailed off searching his eyes.

He gave her a relieved sort of smile and moved so she could enter the room. Without saying a word, he crawled into bed and pulled the covers down on the other side so she could crawl in beside him. When she did, he wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent. It was then he realized what he had been missing. This beautiful human girl- no woman. This was the comfort he was craving. This was his home now.

Rose sighed and snuggled close into the Doctor's embrace. It wasn't the first time they had slept next to each other and Rose could remember almost every other instance, stranded on one planet or another. She had always been so happy when they had been "forced" share a bed. Now as she cuddled next to him feeling his single heart beating against her chest, she was relieved that it felt the same as it did all those years ago. He smelled the same and looked the same, only this time his arms were wrapped completely around her and she felt like there were no barriers between them. He was warm and she felt safe. She looked up to his face only to see that the he was already asleep. Smiling slightly, she ran her fingers through his hair. Her last thought before she drifted off was _Oh I could so get used to this._


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor woke the next morning and felt a peace like he hadn't felt since, well... before he could remember. Sometime during the night, Rose had spooned up behind him and her left arm was wrapped possessively around his waist. The feeling of her body pressed against his was both comforting and very arousing. His beautiful Rose. He placed his hand over the top of hers and closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the sensations from his new body. In this divine, sleepy moment, he wondered how he had gone nine hundred plus years without this woman sleeping next to him every night. He almost wished they could just stay in bed forever. But after a few minutes of lying there drifting in and out of sleep, his bladder began to have other ideas. Gently moving her arm, trying not to wake her, he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

Once that was taken care of, he set about making them some tea. He hated to wake her up, but the clock on the table told him it was almost 8:30 and they had a flight to catch. Within a couple of minutes, the kettle began to sing and the Doctor heard a familiar grunting sound coming from under the covers. He quickly poured Rose's cup of tea. He knew from past experience, she was not a morning person. And if she was still as grumpy as she used to be first thing in the morning, he had better not wake her without tea or coffee in hand.

He sat on the bed next to Rose and set her tea on the bedside table. "Good morning!" He called cheerfully uncovering her head.

"Unhh..." She grunted and rolled over burying herself in the covers again. The Doctor laughed out loud. How many times had he woken her up like this when she was on the TARDIS with him? He wondered if she still had that ticklish spot just under her ribs, right about...

"Ahh!" Rose sat bolt upright in the bed and glared at him for a couple of seconds. As she watched him though, a grin slowly appeared until it lit up her whole face. "Shut up." She laughed and held out her hand for her tea. He handed it to her and moved to sit on the chair beside the bed sipping his own tea.

"So, our flight leaves at 11:45. That'll put us in London around 1:00?"

"Yeah. That sounds about right. We're an hour behind them so..." She shrugged.

They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes sipping their tea. Rose was reminded of when they used to sit in the TARDIS kitchen in the morning. Those were such good times. The Doctor was always so perky in the morning and Rose was always mostly asleep until after breakfast. Now the prospect of having that again with him... with him. She kept forgetting that he wasn't her original Doctor. The longer she was around him, it was almost like they hadn't ever been apart. Sleeping in his arms last night had felt like being home for the first time in a really long time.

They made eye contact and she gave him a shy sort of smile, which he returned pulling on his left ear. "So, I never asked, do you have your own place or...?" He tralied off, wondering where they would be staying. Even though he and Jackie got along quite well this time around, he really didn't like the idea of staying with Rose's mother.

"Oh yeah. Sorry. I've got a little flat about fifteen minutes away from Mum's" She smiled. "It's not much, but I didn't really feel comfortable staying at the mansion. Mum didn't either at first, but I think she's gotten used to it now."

"I'd imagine Jackie'd feel right at home." The Doctor chuckled.

"Yeah." Rose smiled at the familiar banter about her mother. "Ya know she hasn't let Dad's money change her though. Always buggin' me to go thrift store shoppin' with her. Still, it's nice to see her not worryin' about bills all the time." As if on cue the phone rang.

"Speaking of Jackie." The Doctor smirked. He got up and collected the tea cups while Rose answered the phone.

"Hello?... Ok... No we're up. Just havin' tea... Oh shut up." She half smiled and the Doctor thought he knew exactly what Jackie was ribbing her about. "Yeah. We'll meet you in about ten minutes... Okay. Bye."She hung up the phone and turned to the Doctor. "I told her we'd meet her down in the restaurant. Are you ready?"

The Doctor looked around the room and smiled, "Sure."

They gathered up the few things they had with them, which wasn't much as neither of them even had a toothbrush. Then made their way down to the restaurant for a quick breakfast with Jackie. Afterwards, they had just enough time to catch a taxi to the airport and soon they were in the air on their way to London.

As the Doctor sat there holding Rose's hand he felt excited and slightly nervous. He was eager to see the home she had made for herself here, and nervous because this was very new territory for the both of them. If last night had been any indication, Rose wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. At least he hoped so. There were still many conversations to be held and adjustments to make, but he had a feeling everything was going to be okay.

The fasten seat belt sign came on and the captain came on the intercom to let them know they would be landing in fifteen minutes. Rose put her magazine down and buckled up. She grinned at the Doctor, "Here we go."

Thirty minutes later, they were making their way through the airport looking for Pete and Tony, who were meeting them. "Rosie!" A small blond boy, looking remarkably like Rose came running up and wrapped his arms around Rose's legs. "You were gone for so long!" He told her.

"Aww, I missed you too, Tony!" Rose picked up her little brother and gave him a hug.

Pete came over and kissed Jackie, whispering "Hello, Love." He gave Rose a hug and reached out to shake the Doctor's hand. "Doctor. Good to see you again."

"You too, Pete." The Doctor shook his hand and Pete proceeded to tell Jackie everything their son had gotten into since she left.

"Tony, I'd like you to meet the Doctor. You remember me tellin' you 'bout him right?" Rose turned so that Tony was facing the Doctor.

"Nice to meet you, Tony." The Doctor reached out to shake Tony's hand but the three year old laid his head down on Rose's shoulder and watched him warily.

Rose laughed. "He'll warm up to you soon enough." She handed Tony over to her mother who began to hug and kiss on him.

As they walked to the car and Pete turned his attention to the Doctor. "Are you two going to be coming back to the house with us or are ya going to Rose's?"

The doctor looked over to Rose and shrugged.

"I think we're going home, Dad. It's been a long couple of days. And we need to get settled. Well, actually we probably need to do some shopping first." Now that she thought about it the Doctor didn't even have any clean underwear. "But We'll come over within the next couple of days." They reached the car and Pete told Will, the driver to take he and Jackie to the mansion. After they were dropped off, Rose asked him to take them to Debenhams so the Doctor could pick out some basics.

By 4:00 they were leaving the store with enough underwear, socks, pajamas, jeans and shirts to last for a few days. The Doctor had decided to forgo the suits, at least for now. They climbed in the car and asked Will to take them back to Rose's flat.

"Thanks, Will. We'll see you soon." Rose and the Doctor pulled the shopping bags out of the car and headed up the stairs to Rose's flat. She didn't know why but, to Rose, this felt like one of those moments in life that she would always remember. It felt like the beginning of something new. The Doctor was walking into her home. He was stepping into her world now, like she had stepped into his all those years ago.


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor took the bags she was carrying so she could get to her keys. She unlocked the door and looked at him as if to say "ready?". The Doctor grinned at her as she opened the door. Rose entered first and he followed, looking around. The first thing he noticed was that the flat smelled like her room on the TARDIS always had. Her home simply smelled like her. Even years after he lost her at Canary Warf, he had gone into her room when he was feeling particularly lonely. Something about that smell was comforting to him.

They ventured a little further in and she started pointing things out to him. "Kitchen's right through there. Don't think I have any food though... Uhh. Living room. Bathroom. Bedroom is down the hall... Like I said, it's not much..."

"It's brilliant." He whispered as he pulled her to him for a hug. After a few seconds she smiled and pushed her hair behind her ears.

"Ok, well. Make yourself at home." She gestured around the flat and moved off to the kitchen to see if she had some tea.

The Doctor looked around the living room. Rose's flat was well... It was Rose. It was a bit cluttered with a few clothes and magazines here and there, but not dirty at all. The furnishings were functional and comfortable. There was a small couch and a recliner, a coffee table, and small entertainment center against the opposite wall. Across the top of the entertainment center there were pictures from her life on this world. Pete and Jackie renewing their vows, Rose holding Tony when he was first born, Tony sitting in the grass eating a Popsicle, and... He approached the shelf and picked up one of the pictures from the middle. It was a picture of the Doctor and Rose, smiling and lounging on a beach towel.

He remembered that day well. It was taken when they had gone to visit the beaches of the planet Gloshwawa in 5126. Very touristy, but they had beautiful beaches. A man had come by asking if they wanted a picture for 20 credits. Rose had immediately said yes. That was such a happy day, sprawled out laughing and eating the local food, watching the sea and enjoying each others company. This was taken only a couple of weeks before he lost her.

"That was a great day huh?" She startled him slightly as she entered the room carrying two glasses of lemonade (she was out of tea).

"Yeah..." He motioned to the picture. "How did you manage to keep this? I mean, when we... got separated, you didn't get a chance to-"

"I kept it with me. Always had it folded up in my pocket... Don't know why. I just wanted it close."

The Doctor set the picture down and fiddled with the corner of the frame as he asked, "Are you okay? I mean, with me being part human now..." He wasn't sure why he brought it up. Looking at the picture and seeing himself when he was fully Time Lord had sparked a bit of insecurity in him. They had a lot to talk about, and now seemed as good a time as any.

Rose sat on the couch, placing the lemonade on the coffee table. "Yeah, ya know. Well... I'm going to be honest, it's still a bit confusing." She looked in his eyes as he sat next to her. "I know you're still you. Like when you regenerated. I guess it's just weird knowing the other Doctor is still out there somewhere and..." She trailed off not really sure what to say.

"It's nothing you did wrong, Rose..." He knew that was at least part of what was hurting her. He wanted to make sure she understood the other Doctor didn't leave because of her. He left because of himself.

"Can you tell me...?" She felt herself starting to tear up again. "Can you tell me why he left?" She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed to know and he was the only one who could tell her.

The Doctor sighed. He had known this was coming and it needed to be said. "He had to, Rose." He tried to sound as comforting as he could. "There are lots of reasons why he chose to go. First and foremost is he couldn't give you the things that he thinks you deserve-"

"I wouldn't have cared..." She allowed a few tears to escape now. "It wouldn't have mattered-"

"It matters to me. To him. He wants to see you live a full and happy life. He dreamed of that kind of life too. There was just no way he could ever have it. I- He knew that you would have stayed with him forever, and he is so grateful that you love him that much... No one else has ever loved m- loved _him_ like that." He paused again, and Rose nodded looking down to hide her tears. "That's not the only reason, though. He didn't want to take you away from your mum. He knew there was no way you'd ever be able to see her again. You've got your dad now, and a little brother. It would just be too much on his conscience to take you away from all that for the rest of your life. It's not that he didn't want you to go with him. He just couldn't do that to you."

Rose was still quietly protesting as he spoke. He didn't want to scare her, but he needed to tell her everything."There's something very dark in his future, Rose. He felt it. If you had gone with him again, you wouldn't have been able to stay long." He swallowed watching her closely. "He knew he would be losing you too soon. You could have died if you'd stayed with him. And he'd never be able to forgive himself for that."

Rose looked up at him, "Is he in danger?"

The Doctor smiled at her. "No more than usual... Rose, just please believe me that he does love you, more than you can know. He just wants you safe, with your family and..."

Rose looked into his eyes, "...and what?"

"Well, he wants you to be loved..." He reached up a little uncertainly to gently touch her face. "He wants his Rose to be loved in a way that he would only trust _himself_ to love her...You understand?" Oh, he hoped she understood.

She nodded. He was the one who chose to stay. And her original Doctor had no choice but to go. It didn't make it hurt any less, but the more they talked the more she understood this was her Doctor. The other Doctor made his choice because he had to. It wasn't anything she had done. She knew he loved her. She knew this Doctor loved her as well. And at this point she just wanted to allow herself to be happy. "Thanks." She whispered. "I feel better now..." She wiped at the tears on her face.

The Doctor put his arms around her, "You don't always have to be so brave you know..."

She squeezed him a little tighter and said, "Neither do you."

He pulled back and kissed her forehead deciding it was time to talk about something else now. "So, Rose Tyler, What have you been doing these last four years on Pete's world?" She laughed with him and they began talking. They talked about what they had both gone through the first few months after Canary Warf. They talked about Tony being born, and Martha and Donna. Of all the adventures he had had in the TARDIS and the adventures she had working at Torchwood. They talked and laughed until it was nearly three in the morning. "And Donna was trying to fit in as a flapper you know. She was saying, 'Spiffing. Top Hole!' It was so funny..." He looked down at Rose. "Rose?" She had fallen asleep with her head pillowed on his shoulder.

He smiled and gently laid her down on the couch covering her with a throw that had been draped over the back. She woke up slightly "Doctor? I'm sorry..."

"Shh... Go back to sleep." He whispered and she did, almost instantly. He took their glasses and empty bowl of popcorn (they had gotten hungry about an hour ago) to the kitchen and went to the little closet in the hall hoping there was another blanket in there. He found one and moved back into the living room to stretch out in the recliner. Tonight had been good. The Doctor felt like they had both done a lot of healing. He looked back over at Rose sleeping peacefully on the couch. "I love you, Rose Tyler." He whispered and then closed his eyes.

**AN: Thank you guys so much for all the great reviews! I really didn't know if anyone was going to like my writing, but you guys have inspired me to keep going. THANK YOU!**


	5. Chapter 5

Rose awoke the next morning and reached for her phone on the coffee table. 10:38. "Ugh." She rolled over and pulled the throw blanket back over her, flopping her arm over the edge of the couch. She really needed to get up, but right now she was just too comfortable. She stretched and thought about everything that had changed in the last few days. It was good though, surprisingly good, actually.

She felt whole again, and that was saying something. Since she had kissed him, she had felt something... as if something was beginning, and whatever it was, she couldn't help but be excited and happy. After a couple of minutes lying there, she finally rolled back over and crawled off the couch. She glanced over at the Doctor. He was sprawled out in the recliner, hair even messier than usual and mouth hanging open slightly. Rose smiled at the sight. In her original Universe, it was rare to see the Doctor sleeping, and she had to admit, he was adorable.

She decided to let him sleep awhile and went to take a shower. Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom towel drying her hair and heard the Doctor in the kitchen. She smiled and headed in there to see what he was up to.

"Good morning." He said cheerfully handing her a cup of coffee. "You know, you really need to go grocery shopping."

She laughed, "Yeah. I really wasn't expecting to be coming back here, to be honest."

"Well. I found some bread... And if I'm not mistaken," He stuck his head in the refrigerator, "Ah-ha!" He emerged victorious with a jar of strawberry jam. "We can have toast and jam. I love toast and jam. And it's strawberry jam too. I _love_ strawberry jam." He gave her a slightly manic grin and went about making the toast.

Rose simply smiled and sipped her coffee. She could tell that after their talk last night, he had also woke up feeling more like his old self. And as he hummed to himself watching the toaster, she could tell he was happy. It was moments like this she had missed more than anything.

"I've got to call Torchwood today." She said conversationally.

"Do you have to go back to work?" The Doctor asked, slightly disappointed.

"No, I'm going to take a couple of days off, but I'll probably need to go in and debrief everybody." She sighed. "It shouldn't take long. You can come with me... Or stay. Whatever you want."

The Doctor sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "I think I'll come with you if it's ok." He decided. "You say the Torchwood here is different... I get to see what you've been working on for myself."

"Yeah, it's different. Dad's in control and I've persuaded him to change things quite a bit. You'll see. It's nothing like the old Torchwood." She assured him and took a bite of the toast he handed her.

"Good." He knew he would never fully trust the Torchwood institute. Just the thought of all of the disaster they had caused in their original universe made his blood run cold. But he trusted Rose, and he knew if there was anything wrong happening she wouldn't stand for it. That is, if she knew about it. He'd just have to keep his eyes and ears open.

They finished their breakfast and the Doctor went to take a shower while Rose called Pete at his office. "Hello."

"Hey. It's me."

"Oh, hi Rose. I wasn't expecting to here from you today."

"Well, I thought I'd go ahead and come in today to do the debriefing. Everything's still fresh in my head so it'll be easier. The Doctor's coming with me. And we need to talk to Mike about getting him some paperwork."

"Yeah, I thought of that last night. That's fine, I'll let Mike know and tell Becca to arrange the meeting for what... 12:00?"

"That sounds good, thanks Dad."

"No problem. See you soon."

"Bye." She hung up the phone and went to find her work clothes.

A little while later, she emerged dressed and ready from her bedroom, and made her way down the hall. The Doctor was standing with the bathroom door open brushing his teeth. She brushed past him and smiled grabbing her toothbrush. To herself, she marvelled at how comfortable they were. It was almost as if they had spent no time apart at all. She couldn't really put her finger on it, but as they stood there brushing their teeth she felt whole and complete like she hadn't felt since she had been trapped in this world.

The Doctor finished brushing and asked her what the plan for the day was.

"Well, the debrief starts at noon, so we'll go to work first. After the meeting I figured you could talk to Mike. He's our guy in charge of... Well, he knows how to get documents... Birth certificates, Driver's licenses, and stuff like that."

"Oh yeah. I guess I'll need all that now..." The Doctor trailed off thinking of how much he was going to miss his psychic paper... amongst quite a few other things, now a universe away... his ship now out of his reach forever...

"You alright?" She recognized the slightly haunted look in his eyes. That was never a good sign with the Doctor.

"Oh, yeah. Fine. So what do they need to know?" He asked, mentally shaking the thoughts out of his head for now.

Rose knew he wasn't fine, but she also knew the Doctor well enough to know not to push the subject. "Well, for starters, a name, birth date, parents names... Stuff like that."

"Oh..." He thought for a second. "Can't I just be 'The Doctor'?"

"Well, of course that's what _I'll_ always call you. But you kind of need a human name as well... just for legal purposes."

She was right. He was human now and needed a human name. "Oh. Okay." He'd have to figure out a way to fit into this world. He couldn't just stay in Rose's flat for the rest of his life. He didn't know why, but for some reason he really didn't like this. Somehow taking a new name, and making up a fake history made being stuck in one time and place feel very real. The last couple of days, he'd been so focused on helping Rose feel better, he hadn't really had time to think about anything. Now he was sure she'd pull through... he wasn't so sure about himself. He once again shook the thoughts out of his head as they put on their shoes and headed out the door.

* * *

"Hey, Rose." As they headed in the main doors at Torchwood, the lady behind the front desk smiled brightly and greeted them.

"Hi Vick." Rose waved at the woman behind the desk. Everybody in the entire building seemed to have caught wind that Rose was back. And aparently, they all wanted a good look at the mysterious Doctor that she had saved the world with. Most people openly stared at them and a few came up and shook Rose's hand or gave her a hug as they made their way across floor 36, where Pete's office was.

"Hello, you two." Pete said looking up from his computer when they entered his office. He stood and shook the Doctor's hand. "You can sit in on the meeting if you want, Doctor. Shouldn't take too long. Then we'll introduce you to Mike."

They made their way to a conference room where the Doctor was impressed at how fast Rose went into professional mode. The Doctor sat and listened as she recounted events from before, during, and after the Reality Bomb. She introduced the Doctor to everyone, thankfully leaving out the part about him being a part-human clone of the original. Lots of talking, lots of questions and about an hour and a half later, they were walking out of the conference room with a short plump man named Mike. He took the Doctor and Rose into his office and sat down at his desk, with the two of them sitting across from him.

"So Doctor, you need a birth cerificate, Driver's liscense. Hmmm... What else?"

Rose cut in, "He needs the same stuff you got for me, Mike, and maybe more. He's starting from scratch just like I was."

Mike looked from Rose to the Doctor, "Okay then Doctor, What will your last name be?"

He was prepared for this question and had been thinking about it all day. "I'll take the name Jonathan Noble."

Rose looked over at him. That was perfect. Jonathan, the longer version of the name he had always used. Noble for his best friend, who had helped create him, in her honor.

Mike began typing on his keyboard. "Okay, Jonathan Noble. Middle name?"

"Uhhh..." He hadn't thought of that. "I don't really know. Uhh...David? Does that sound good?"

"I love it." Rose said. It really did work. Dr. Jonathan David Noble

"Ok then David it is." The Doctor agreed.

"Okay. Birth date?" Mike asked.

The Doctor looked to Rose for help again. "I don't know. What age do you think I look, Rose?"

"Hmmm... 34? 35?..." Rose answered.

"Ok. I was born three days ago in 1973."

Mike looked confused for a few seconds and then started typing again "Ok. Born June 4, 1973. Age, 35..." He continued to ask questions about the Doctor's parents names, birthplace, and what kind of degrees he needed. There were about 200 other questions, the Doctor couldn't understand why he needed to answer, but his "life" story slowly came together and by the time he and Rose left Mike's office he was exhausted.

It was 3:00 and they hadn't eaten since their toast that morning. They went to the market and got a few groceries, then stopped at a fish and chips place so they wouldn't have to be bothered with cooking anything tonight. They arrived back at the flat and sat down to eat their food and Rose noticed the Doctor was strangely silent. "Are you ok? You're bein' very quiet..."

"You know me, Rose. I'm always alright." He tried to give her a reassuring look.

"Yeah." She looked quickly up from her chips, cross with him now, "And I also know what that means. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He didn't say anything, and she watched him for a minute before allowing her expression to soften. She placed her hand over his on the table. "You really don't have to talk if you don't want, Doctor but I'm here if you do."

He stared at her for a moment, then turned his hand over so that it was holding hers. He hoped one day she would realize how much he appreciated her. "I don't want to worry you, Rose." He leaned a little closer to her and looked down caressing the hand he was holding.

"Well, the past three days you've listened to me and let me pour my soul out to ya. If there's somethin' bothering you, I want to know. But only if you want to tell me. I know you've been through a lot too. It's not good for you to just bottle it all up."

The Doctor smiled slightly, "Yeah, but it's what I do."

"I know. I jus' want you to know you don't have to anymore." Rose looked him in the eye and knew he understood. She believed he would open up to her someday, she just had to be patient.

He allowed the silence to last a few seconds as he looked down at her hand and slowly ran his thumb over the back of it. "Rose, I know once I start talking, I'll probably tell you everything, and I will someday. I'm afraid for you to know everything right now. The things I've done..."

"You've done them for the good of everyone." Rose added.

"Yeah... Tell that to the people I've..." He was starting to feel anger boil within himself, most of it directed at himself. "Rose, someday I'll tell you. Right now, I just want to eat fish and chips with you, and maybe watch a movie, like we used to... before."

The Doctor could tell she really didn't like the idea of ending this paticular conversation, but she acquiesced, and they headed to the living room to watch a movie. The Doctor joined Rose on the couch and they didn't say much until the credits bagan to roll.

The Doctor was almost never this quiet and Rose was determined to get the Doctor's mind off of everything that was bothering him. "I know what you need." She said and the Doctor looked at her quizzically. "You need cookies."

He smiled, "I do?"

"Yup." Rose sprang up off the couch and grabbed his hand. "And you're gonna help me make 'em. C'mon."

He grinned and followed her into the kitchen. They got the ingredients together and started mixing. Before he knew it, the Doctor was laughing out loud at the mess they were making and Rose's complete inability to really cook anything. He felt much better. He looked down at her licking batter off the spoon. She had flour on her cheek and was smiling up at him. He couldn't help himself. He reached out tenderly and brushed the flour away, allowing his hand to linger for a minute on her soft cheek. Then he slowly leaned down kissing her gently on the lips. "Thank you." He whispered when he pulled away.

"What for?" She asked quietly.

He laughed again and pulled her in for a big hug. "Just for being you, Rose Tyler. That's enough for me."


	6. Chapter 6

Rose had gone to bed almost an two hours earlier, and the Doctor was still wide awake. He tossed and turned on the couch. He got up to eat some cookies and then went back to lie down, tossing and turning some more. The quiet was getting to him again. Sleeping in the silence was very difficult after almost 900 years aboard a gently humming ship. He thought about turning the television on, but didn't want to wake Rose. What did humans do when they were tired but couldn't sleep? Count sheep? 1. 2. 3. 4. Okay, he was already annoyed with that. Warm milk? It was worth a try. Throwing the blanket off and making his way to the kitchen, he grabbed a saucepan and the milk from the refrigerator. As he placed the pan on the stove, he heard Rose's bare feet softly padding through the living room.

"Hey." She greeted him softly when she found him in the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you..."

"No, no you didn't. I... couldn't sleep again..."

"Yeah, me neither. Warm milk?" He gestured towards the pan.

"Nah," she stuck her tongue out slightly, "can't stand the stuff."

"Oh," He looked down at the milk just starting to steam. "Well, I can honestly say it's a first for me. Never tried it before, but I figured I'm human now and I've always heard of humans drinking warm milk when they couldn't get to sleep..." He trailed off and stirred the pan.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" Rose asked quietly.

"Don't know really... Too quiet I suppose... used to the TARDIS..." He shrugged.

"I had a lot of trouble sleeping when I first got here." Rose sat down at the table and grabbed a cookie from the bowl in the middle. "Dad had a ceiling fan in his room that made a sort of humming sound. It sort of wobbled too, so you could almost feel the vibration... Not exactly like the TARDIS, but it made it easier to sleep. Dad and Mum moved into a different room so I could have Dad's old one." She thought of her first few nights in the Tyler Mansion as she spoke. It had been a rough and lonely time, she could only imagine what the Doctor was going through now.

"You had trouble sleeping without the sound of the TARDIS?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I slept inside 'er for two and a half years. It was that and... I don't know. It's silly but my head felt empty... I guess I got used to having the TARDIS in my head and when it was gone it just felt-"

The Doctor dropped his glass of milk. "Oh. Sorry..." He grabbed a rag and started to clean up the mess.

"Doctor? Are you alright?" Rose asked cautiously.

The Doctor continued to clean up the spilled milk. "Yeah. Fine. Fine... There we go. All cleaned up. Nothing to worry about." The Doctor looked up at her and smiled. "So why did you say you couldn't sleep? Tonight I mean." He asked.

"Oookay... Uhm." She was not sure what that was all about. "I don't really know why I couldn't sleep tonight... Just a lot going through my head I guess."

"Yeah." The Doctor seemed to compose himself. "Well, I don't think the warm milk is going to help me much..." He trailed off.

"Is the couch uncomfortable? I mean, if you want, we can... share the bed. Or whatever... I mean..."

"Well, I did sleep pretty well in the hotel room the other day... That is, I mean if you don't mind-"

"Oh no! I don't mind." They laughed nervously.

"Ok then." He pulled on his ear, "Ahh, lead the way, I guess."

They made their way back to Rose's bedroom. After another awkward moment that resulted in the Doctor accidentally laying on Rose's hair (I'm sorry!) and Rose's thumb nail barely missing the Doctor's eye (Oh God. Sorry!) they were in each other's arms and fast asleep.

* * *

Rose woke up very early the next morning to the blissful feeling of the Doctor sleeping next to her. She rolled over so that she was facing him and he opened his eyes. "Hey you. Good morning." he yawned.

Rose grinned shyly, "Good morning." She stretched and went to sit up but he grabbed her hand.

"Come here. Too early." he whispered and pulled her to him. He wrapped his left arm around her and she settled her head against his chest.

"This is nice." She sighed.

"Mmmm..." he was starting to nod off again. Rose smiled to herself and closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of his of his arm around her and his warm body next to hers. Why was it so much easier to sleep when they were able to touch each other? She had always felt a kind of comforting completeness from holding his hand or hugging him, but this went beyond anything she had ever felt. The two of them lying here open and vulnerable and dreaming. She loved it, and she wanted more, but she knew they weren't ready for that yet. As she slipped away into dreams once again she hoped it would always be this way.

They woke up again around eight o'clock and decided to actually get out of bed this time. The Doctor made his way to the kitchen as always but Rose only made it as far as the couch. After a couple of minutes, he joined her on the couch with two cups of coffee. "So," He asked, "What are we doing today? We promised Jackie we'd go see her." He took a sip of his coffee and put his feet on the table.

"Wait, wait..." Rose pretended to choke on her drink. "You're _suggesting _we go see my mum?" she laughed.

The Doctor looked up defensively. "Wellll, you know I just- Well... we promised. That's all. Just don't want to break a promise." He fumbled slightly and took another drink.

Rose smiled with her tongue between her teeth. "Uh huh." She knew her mum and the Doctor loved each other, even if they wanted to pretend differently. "Sounds like a good idea. I'll give her a call in a bit."

"Okay." The Doctor stood again. "I'm going to make some breakfast."

They had a huge breakfast of french toast and bacon. The Doctor ate enough for three people as usual and Rose kidded him that if he kept eating like that he was going to _have _to get a job soon, or she wouldn't be able to feed him.

"I have a fast metabolism." He complained. "I have to eat a lot to maintain my vivacious, animated and clever disposition."

"You're going to be a diabetic if you keep eating that many sweets." She laughed as they headed out the door and greeted Will, the Tyler's personal driver, at the end of the short driveway.


	7. Chapter 7

They arrived at the mansion, and Rose walked in and started yelling for her mother.

"Just a minute!" Was the aggravated reply, "And quit yelling! You're brother isn't feeling well! You'd think this was a bloody zoo the way you're carryin' on!" She continued the tirade in true Jackie fashion, but the Doctor blocked it out. He smiled to himself. Good ol' Jackie Tyler. She had everything she could ever want or need in this house, but she would always be an estate girl. Just the way she should be. His thoughts were cut short when he felt two arms wrap around his right leg. "You're the Doctor!"

The Doctor looked down. "Well hello, Tony!" He grinned at the little boy.

"Told ya he'd warm up to ya." Rose whispered in his direction before bending down to hug her little brother.

"I threw up!" He told the Doctor excitedly.

The Doctor laughed and patted him on the head. "Well, why did you go and do that?"

"I don't know!" Tony replied still excited. "Mummy said I caught a bug."

Rose laughed, "Okay, Tony where's Mum?"

"In the kitchen!" He grabbed each of their hands and led them to the kitchen.

"Oi! You're supposed to be in bed." Jackie told Tony and playfully swatted him as he ran from the room. "Oh, c'mere you two." She laughed as she pulled the Doctor and Rose in for a hug and kiss.

Rose chuckled as they sat down to have some tea. "Looks like he's feeling better."

"Oh yeah. His fever came down this morning and he's been a right little terror ever since." She continued talking to Rose about Mrs. Murray's daughter getting married and a shop that had opened up downtown. The Doctor was soon bored of the conversation and went to poke around the kitchen. He opened one of the upper cabinets. _Oh graham crackers... _ He was just reaching for the box when Jackie addressed him, "So, Pete tells me you got all your paperwork done?" Jackie asked the Doctor.

He paused, still not really happy about his new human identity, "Yes, all sorted." He hoped she would drop the subject.

"Well, that's good. What name did you choose then?"

"Jonathan Noble. My best friend Donna... In the other universe. Her surname was Noble." _Dear Donna..._

"Oh that's nice, isn't it?" Jackie said. "You've got a proper name now and it suits you too."

"Yeah. I still want to be called The Doctor though." He broke off a piece of graham cracker and started chewing.

"I'll always call you Doctor..." Rose grinned at him. They made eye contact across the room and he smiled back at her. _Thank you Rose._

"You're welcome."

He paused with his hand inside the box of graham crackers. Had he said that out loud?

"Well, Doctor, what kind of job are you planning on getting?" Jackie asked nosily.

"I- uhhh"

"Mum, leave him alone. He doesn't need to-"

The Doctor cut Rose off. "No, she's right. I've got to start a life here, and that's what humans do right?" He looked between the two of them. "Eat, sleep, go to work, come home..." He trailed off. He really hoped he could do this. He didn't have a choice. He'd do it for Rose. He'd do anything for Rose.

"Well, I'm sure Dad can get you a job at Torchwood, if you want, i mean. There's plenty of adventure, and you'd definitely be an asset to the team." Rose smiled.

"Yeah..." The Doctor thought about it for a minute. "Y- Yeah that could be good." Though, his tone of voice indicated that he really didn't think it would be good at all.

"Well, you don't have to decide right away." Rose tried to ease his mind. It was enough for her that he was here. She was afraid to push him or make him feel trapped. She knew how strong his wanderlust was, and Rose was still slightly scared that if the situation got too intense, he would run away again in true Doctor fashion. But as soon as the thought and that tiny bit of fear entered her mind, she was enveloped by a very firm _No! Never again..._ and somehow she knew he'd never run from her. Just like that, it was a fact in her head. She couldn't explain it, but that fear was gone and she knew that as long as he had a choice, he'd be by her side for the rest of their lives.

"Well, you've got to have some kind of job..." Jackie began, looking back and forth between the Doctor and her daughter.

The Doctor was watching Rose carefully, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, Tony came running back into the kitchen. "Will you play with me?" He grabbed the Doctor's hand and began pulling him from the room chattering about showing him his toys.

The Doctor laughed at the little boy. "Sure Tony." He was glad Rose's brother wanted to spend time with him. It was a welcome distraction from the conversation in the kitchen. He turned to smile and wave at Rose as he was led out of the room and towards Tony's bedroom.

"He needs to get a job Rose. It's not right, you supportin' him forever." Jackie began her lecture.

Rose groaned in exasperation, "Mum, just leave it, alright? He's been here three days. It's not his fault all of this happened. Four days ago he was a Time Lord and thought he'd be travellin' the stars forever. Now all of a sudden he's part human, and trapped here-"

"And he's got you. So he should be happy, thank-you-very-much."

"He is happy. Or he's going to be happy. I don't know, Mum, but just don't nag him yet alright? He's been through enough..." She glanced sadly at the door where he had just exited.

"Him! What about you? Everything he's put you through! I know he's a good man, but I think he needs a good smack sometimes."

Rose laughed at that. "Yeah, he does." She reached out to hold her mother's hand, "Just give him a while to adjust okay? It's weird when you're used to travellin' on the TARDIS, then you're stuck. It took me a long time to adjust... and I was only there for like, two and a half years. He's going through a lot. Don't worry if he needs a smack I'll give 'im one!"

Jackie smiled. "Alright, just don't complain to me when he's sittin' at home watching telly all day and you're working your ass off to support 'im." She gestured towards the kitchen door as she spoke.

"Whatever," Rose shook her head and grinned at her own mental picture of the Doctor sitting on the couch with a stained undershirt and a beer-belly. "So, tell me more about what Chris said to April..."

"Oh yeah. Tell you what, if I was her, I'd have him for sure..."

* * *

A couple of hours later, they hadn't seen the Doctor or Tony, and Rose was ready to go home, so she went looking for them. Judging from the sounds coming from Tony's bedroom she knew exactly where they were at. She opened the door quietly and the sight that greeted her made her heart melt. The Doctor was crouched between the wall and Tony's bed wearing a cheesy alien Halloween mask. "You'll never catch me, Doctor!" he called across the room at the little boy.

Tony jumped out of his closet. "Oh yeah? I'm the Doctor, and I'll stop you with my sonic screwdriver!" He brandished a toy screwdriver like a sword at the alien hiding behind his bed.

"No! Not the screwdriver! You'll be able to duplicate the force shield and spin the matrix 102 degrees on it's axis, nullifying the barrier between us! I won't be able to escape then!"

Tony paused for only a moment, "Yup! And that's what I'm gonna do!" He jumped forward making electronic noises and swishing the screwdriver back and forth.

Rose cleared her throat and Tony jumped. "No, Rose! We were playing Doctor versus alien. You're a girl so you can't play."

The Doctor stood up and laughed, "I don't know, Tony. I happen to know you're sister comes in pretty handy when it comes to fighting off alien threats." He raised the mask and grinned at Rose looking like a kid himself.

The little boy seemed satisfied with that. "Ok, Rose you can be my helper-"

"Companion." The Doctor cut in quickly.

"My companion." Tony corrected himself, "And we have to fight off the evil Slitheen!"

Rose laughed and joined the fun, feeling very happy and satisfied with the new direction her life seemed to be taking. For a man who, in his past incarnation, didn't do domestic, he was really very good at this. She remembered him telling her that he'd been a father once and now she could see it. He was great with Tony.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: This is just my version of a little bit of the Doctor's past. I don't know _everything_ about the old series so I may have gotten a bit of the cannon screwed up. If so, I'm sorry to all the die hard fans out there =) Anyway, this chapter just came to me over the last couple of days, so please review and et me know what you think. Thanks guys!**

A couple of hours later with much protesting from Tony, they were in the car, on their way home. "I don't remember the Slitheen looking like that!" Rose laughed.

"Well, we had to improvise." The Doctor explained.

"You're really good with kids." She blushed slightly, "I mean, that's really the first time I've seen you play with a kid that wasn't in mortal danger or something..."

"Yeah. I love kids. They're like us only smaller." He gave her a goofy smile. "I like how little kids are so honest. Human children are raised so differently from- Well, it wasn't like that on Galifrey." He looked out of the window as they pulled up to the flat.

"Why? How was it different on Galifrey?" They waved goodbye to Will as they climbed out of the car and made their way up to the front door.

"Well, it was just... really different. Parents and children were close... connected, but nothing like it is on Earth." Rose opened the door and they entered the flat making their way towards the kitchen. "Galifreyan parents weren't really the ones who raised their children."

The Doctor sat at the kitchen table and Rose started the oven preheating for the frozen pizza they were having for dinner. "Who raised the children then?" She leaned back against the kitchen counter waiting on the oven and held her breath, hoping this might be one of those moments when he opened up to her a little. She cherished those times, and was usually amazed at whatever he decided to share with her.

"Well, the parents would, until the child was about two years old, and then it was mostly tutors and (he spoke a melodious word here that was clearly not English) that did the rearing until age eight, when they were old enough to join the academy."

"What was that? " Rose asked, shocked.

"What?" The Doctor looked around wondering why she sounded so surprised, "The academy?"

"No." She laughed and sat in a chair next to him, "Uh, I think you just spoke another language."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

"What did I say?" He asked completely confused.

"I don't know. You were talking about who took care of Galifreyan children and you spoke this language-"

The Doctor thought for a second. "Oh, was it (he said the word again)?"

"Yeah! That was it... What does it mean?" Rose asked.

He couldn't believe he had just spoken in his native language without even thinking about it. He hadn't spoken it out loud to anyone in at least a hundred years. He cleared his throat, "It's uh... well, I guess babysitter or nanny is the closest English translation." He stopped, scratching his head for a moment.

"It sounds like such a beautiful language. Is it- Is that Galifreyan?"

"Yes. It just slipped out. I haven't spoken it in years." The Doctor half smiled. It actually felt kind of good to speak in his native tongue. It felt good to be talking about his people and his past. Why? He had no idea, but suddenly he wanted to open up at least a little. He smiled at the look on Rose's face. He knew she wanted to know more about him, and maybe it was time. He mentally prepared himself and began what he knew was going to be a long story. "So, children on Galifrey were brought up by tutors and (melodious word again) until age eight. Then each one would go through an initiation to enter the academy. I spent my whole childhood studying and trying to be the perfect example of a young Galifreyan Time lad."

Rose laughed again, "Time lad, huh?"

"Well, all Galifreyans entered the academy, and if you passed your exams, that's when you would become a Time Lord. I say 'Time lad' because all the children would strive to become a Time Lord or Lady. There was really very little running and playing and just being a kid. Kind of sad really." He stared off into space for a moment, remembering. It truly had been a very lonely childhood.

"So what happened to people who didn't pass the exams?" Rose asked, thrilled that he was talking to her about his home world. Most of what she knew about the Doctor's past came from snippets of thoughts he accidentally let slip. He very rarely elaborated on anything.

"Oh, they had their place in the culture too. They usually became farmers or carpenters. Awful thing was, they were usually considered of less than average intelligence. They were treated like second-class citizens in society, even though the survival of the people depended on them as much as it did the Time Lords. It really wasn't fair." He thought back to long ago. His wife on Galifrey hadn't passed her exams. She had worked as a seamstress. His own parents had opposed him marrying 'below his status' but he hadn't cared. That seemed like lifetimes ago, and it was.

"So you passed your exams, I'm guessing. What happened after that?" Rose put the pizza in the oven and then rejoined him at the table.

"After the exams, I was re-loomed and started-"

"What? What does re-loomed mean?"

"Oh. Galifreyan children were born of the looms. Great big structures that literally knit DNA together. A bit of DNA was taken from mother and father and placed inside the machine. The machine knitted the DNA together and an embryo was created. The child was incubated for what would be the equivalent of twelve Earth months and then the baby was taken from the machine and given to his or her parents. It wasn't always like that but that's how it was done for thousands of years before I was born... "

Rose tried to hide how weird she thought that was and nodded for him to continue.

"Anyway. When a Time Lord or Lady passed the exams, they had a special looming machine that extracted their DNA, and re-sequenced it. The machine made twelve extra DNA copies with slight variations and those copies were placed within the cells of the Time Lord, dormant until a regeneration was necessary." He looked over at Rose who's mouth was slightly hanging open in disbelief. "When I was fully Time Lord, that's the only reason I could regenerate. That's pretty much it." He hoped he hadn't totally thrown her off.

Rose was speechless for a few seconds, "Why the hell, would they do that? It just seems do unnatural..."

The Doctor laughed, "I have no idea, Rose. That's just the way it was done. I never really agreed with it. That's part of the reason why I left as soon as I could." He stared past the wall of the kitchen for a few seconds before continuing. "Time Lords were all about not allowing emotion to get in the way of things. Everything had to be neat and orderly. Emotions were still present, we were just considered weak if we showed them. People married for position and to get the best possible DNA combinations for their children. Marriage for love was frowned upon. Parents were not encouraged to love their children. It's really very... Wrong. To me it was anyway."

"So did you- Uh, did you love your children?" She almost whispered the question. Now they were getting into personal territory, Rose hoped he didn't shut her out.

The Doctor smiled sadly, "Yes. I loved them very much. We had four..." His voice trailed off in thought.

Four children? The Doctor had had four children... And he had lost them all. She was beginning to understand the grief he carried more and more. She had known for a long time that he had been a father. And she saw it today when he was playing Tony. He must have been a great dad. Her thoughts shifted and her next question popped into her head. The looming thing just seemed unnatural to her. It was a little creepy to be honest. "This may be too weird for you to answer, Doctor, and if it is just tell me okay?"

The Doctor nodded so Rose continued.

"Were there ever children born naturally? I mean... Well, did Galifreyans have sex? Or was that like, forbidden?"

"Sex was discouraged, because it was linked with emotion, and ah, the more primitive instincts of my people." He smiled sheepishly, "Two of my children were born naturally. And my wife and I raised _all_ of our children to love, and live with their emotions. But that was part of what I saw wrong with society. Children born of the body were basically outcasts. They weren't allowed to enter the academy. They were never really accepted as part of the culture. It was hard on them... Very hard." He paused briefly and swallowed around a small lump in his throat. "We wondered for a long time if we made the right decision bringing them into the world that way, but they lived mostly happy lives... My son and daughter who were loomed joined the academy and went on to become a Time Lord and Lady, doing most of what was expected of two young people... My natural born daughter was killed...in an accident... far too young." He gave a slightly wistful smile here. "Too much like me I guess... My naturally born son was married and gave me a granddaughter, Susan... She was very dear to me...also a lot like me, I suppose." He trailed off again surprised at how much it hurt and helped to be opening up these old wounds. Speaking about all of this made it seem so fresh, but he felt Rose deserved to know and he wanted to tell her.

Rose wiped at a tear that rolled down her cheek. "Doctor, I'm sorry..."

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and rubbed slightly watery eyes. "Nah. It's fine. It's been a very long time, Rose. A very long time. Thing is, Galifreyans have always been very telepathic especially with touch. Tactile telepathy. And in the beginning they were highly emotional beings, forming telepathic bonds and mating for life. They created family bonds and bonds with their children that never faded even as they grew up. Then... sadly, negative emotions began to take some people over. Part of being highly emotional meant passionate fighting, which led to wars, and hatred. So, as a solution, emotion was traded in for intelligence. And Time Lord society was peaceful for thousands of years because of it. But I think the trade off was that we were all detached, and never able to live full lives. We were still emotional beings. We were just trained to tamp it down and will it away. After my wife and son died, and my other two children had long since graduated and become part of normal society, I took Susan and we left as outcasts in a stolen TARDIS. I never planned on returning... But then the War started...I was called home to fight. Funny thing is... I really didn't miss home until it was gone..." He sighed, and shook the thoughts from his head. That was another story for another day maybe. "So when is that pizza going to be ready? I'm starving."

Rose stared at him for a few long moments making sure he was done talking and slightly awestruck at everything he had just told her. "Wow..." She breathed.

The Doctor looked over at her. "Wow what?" He asked.

"You stole the TARDIS?" She laughed and so did he, relieved that she didn't ask him questions about the war.

"Yup!" He proclaimed proudly. "Liberated her from a junk yard! She fought me really hard at first, but we won each other over eventually. In the end we were so linked that I..." He trailed off and his smile faltered. "Well... Still..." That particular scar was too fresh. He would not be talking about that tonight.

Rose noticed his expression and stood, walking around to rub his shoulders for a minute. "Hey." She said, "How about after dinner we go for a walk? I can show you around and point out the differences between the two universes and stuff."

He reached a hand back and placed it over top of hers. "That sounds like an excellent idea, Rose Tyler." His smile was back now, not quite as bright, but still there. "Is that pizza ready yet?"


End file.
